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Put down that Cosmo!


Good Morning!

Things are going very well here at #NYAB!  I had my first successful set-up yesterday, and I’m about to have my second. Just to keep things fresh, I thought I’d write another post about dating and relationships.  As stated earlier in my blog, I do not have a Ph.D., but I do have my Bachelors of Science in Psychology, and I have taken my fair share of classes on relationships in college.  I also am addicted to trashy dating T.V. shows, so I guess that counts as some research too!

All joking aside, something that has always bothered me is how our media and culture make men and women seem SO different, like Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus.  We all make it seem like the opposite sex is a completely separate alien species that we must dissect and analyze over and over again.  But as it turns out, we’re not that different!  Sure there are things that men are more likely to do than women and vice versa.  There are some differences in communication and sex drive, etc etc etc, but when it comes down to it, all these old idioms and proverbs we learned growing up are basically B.S.!  So ladies, put down your Cosmo magazine!  That magazine is misleading, and you will not learn new ways to “Please Your Man” every month.  Men are simple beings, don’t take these things too seriously.  Treat your date or partner with respect, be kind and thoughtful, and always be honest.  The rest of the stuff, you can just figure out as you go!

While on the topic of misleading advice, a phrase that you will hear over and over and over again is that “opposites attract”.  This is NOT TRUE.  If you are looking to date someone who is the opposite of you, just stop.  Why would you want to do that to yourself?  It will only lead you to frustration and anger.  It is way more important to find someone who compliments your personality and can motivate you to achieve your goals rather than to look for someone who is completely different than yourself.  I’m not saying you can’t date someone who is a Republican if you’re a Democrat, or a Cubs fan can’t date a White Sox fan (actualllllly, not so sure about that one! jk…) I’m referring to major personality traits and long-term goals.

As it turns out, we actually are attracted to people who are similar to us.  When looking for a date or a partner, you often go for people who you think are equally as attractive as you are.  There are always exceptions, however, such as when older men with money seem to attract model-types.  But generally speaking, we are most attracted to people who we would rate as attractive as ourselves.

We are also attracted to people who had similar up-bringings.  This is how religion and education come into play as well.  We are more likely to be attracted to someone who grew up in the same kind religious background and educational background than someone who did not.  For instance, if you grew up going to private Catholic school your entire life, you are more likely to want to date someone who also attended a private school and was raised Catholic. Again, as stated earlier, there are always exceptions.  There are plenty of successful and happy interfaith couples and marriages, but both parties have to be on the same page with the level of importance that religion will play in their home, especially if they have children.   Most people want to date and marry someone who has a similar educational background as well.  If you went to college and received a Bachelors degree, chances are you want to date someone who also has a degree.

So next time someone tells you to go after that girl or guy because they are the total opposite of you, tell them NO WAY, JOSE!  Instead of telling your friends that opposites attract, you should tell them the wise idiom “Birds of a feather flock together”.  You are more likely to have a successful relationship with someone who you have more in common with.  However, don’t take this advice TOOOO seriously, because then you’ll essentially be dating a cloned version of yourself, and that’s no fun!  When looking for your next date or relationship, look for someone who has similar values as you do and similar personality traits and goals, but someone who also has different interests and hobbies.  Then, you can share your interests and hobbies together, and allow each other to grow and learn new things.  Doing new activities together will also bond you as a couple.

I hope you all learned something today from your favorite Lady Bro!  Feel free to comment on this post, send it to your friends, and spread the word about #NYAB!  As always, feel free to e-mail me at notyouraverageladybro@gmail.com or tweet me @NotUrAverageBr0!

xoxo

Becca