First Dates on a Budget

Dear Becca,

A couple days ago, a girl messaged me on okcupid, a site that I had been more or less ignoring for a while. The girl seemed cool though and we’ve since exchanged a few messages. In one of her messages she asked what my favorite happy hours in town are, to which I said that my favorite happy hour was probably the best in the city and that I’d be happy to prove it to her (clever, right?). Anyways she went with that and asked if i wanted to get a drink, but then chose a time specifically outside of happy hour range.

I don’t mean to seem petty, but this bro is on a budget and, since I’ll be picking up the tab, I would really prefer a date within the confines of happy hour, especially after all this talk about them.

Am I being ridiculous, and if not, how would you advise proceeding?


Bro on a Budget


Dear Bro on a Budget,

I think that you are absolutely NOT being ridiculous or petty.  Today, almost everyone I know in their mid-late 20’s is on a pretty strict budget.  It’s no shocker to anyone our age that the economy blows right now, and Happy Hour deals are getting our generation through this tough time.  I would also like to commend you on what seems to be a clever and smooth transition from messaging on OkC to actually planning out your first date.  I love your idea of choosing different Happy Hours around the city, and showing her your playful side of “proving” to her why it’s the best spot.

I assume Happy Hours are somewhere along the lines of between 5pm and 7pm.  What time does she want to meet?  Maybe she has to work later than most?  Typically, on a first date, girls want to meet later (around 7pm or 8pm), so they have plenty of time to get ready and look good for you, and maybe have a glass of wine or a beer to calm their nerves.  If she’s not getting home from work until 5:30 or 6pm, then Happy Hour could be tough.  However, it seems that you’re entire messaging conversation has been revolved around talking about Happy Hours, which everyone knows is right after work.

A simple way to resolve this is to remind her of what time the Happy Hour ends.  Maybe you both can compromise and meet in the middle of the set time (such as around 6 or 6:30), so that will give her time to freshen up after work plus it allows you to save some extra cash.  If the date is going well (FINGERS CROSSED!) and lasts past the Happy Hour time-frame, then you may need to suck it up and pay full price.  Hopefully, she’s a classy lady and will offer to pay for the tip.

If she still does not budge, then decide if you’d be OK paying full price or admitting to her that you’re on a tight budget (which I think most girls would understand, but may be a buzz kill to hear before your first date). Or, you could always choose a cheaper spot, and just tell her that you changed your mind.

Hope this was helpful!



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