Your post “Drunk Texting (just stop doing it)” really caught my eye. As an overly-excited, chatty girl, I have often had problems with texting too frequently and especially with drunk texting. However, my question has to do with guys’ drunk-texting us.
There is this guy–we’ll call him PlanetHead, or PH. So PH and I hooked up on and off for a few months–nothing serious. We met at a bar and have a lot of mutual friends, so unfortunately we seem to keep running into each other. After each surprise encounter, he drunkenly texts me. He knows I have deleted his number and I’ve suggested he delete mine so he stops drunk texting me. The most recent text was that he wants to take me out for “food” (not dinner, but food), and explain why he’s been such an ass. I texted back that he doesn’t need to justify his behavior, but he is pretty insistent on meeting up. How do I get him to stop texting me without seeming like a complete bitch and without rumors spreading throughout our mutual friend groups?
Over It Olivia
Dear Over It Olivia,
Good for you for deleting his number after he didn’t treat you well! Cutting negativity out of your life is very important, especially when it comes to relationships and dating. I have to ask you, what happened? It seems that part of the story is definitely missing. Why did you delete his number? Is it deal-breaker worthy is something petty and stupid that drunk guys tend to do on the regular? It seems that you’re pretty adamant about not being in contact with him again, so it sounds unforgivable.
If this is the case, I think you’re doing a great job of telling him to buzz off. Telling him that you’ve already deleted his number is a good start, but some guys may see that as a chase or you playing hard to get. You have to make it completely clear to him that you are no longer interested in him, and this may mean “seeming like a complete bitch”. If you’re too polite or nice about it, he may not get the picture. Men are very literal beings, sometimes you really have to spell it out for them. You can simply stop returning his text messages, and hope that he gets the picture, or flat out tell him to stop contacting you or you will have his number blocked.
That being said, you really have to commit to this too, which means you can’t drunk text him either! Deleting his number is the first step, which is great you’ve already done that, but make sure there’s no way you can find his number in your phone from past texts or phone calls, and do not respond to him if he contacts you. If you feel that it is becoming a big problem, and he will not stop contacting you after you have repeatedly told him not to, then call your phone company and find out how to have his number blocked. No reason to deal with creeps if you have the option not to.
Also, don’t worry about him spreading rumors about you. It’ll be your word against his, and he seems like a total jackass. Any of your friends who believe him over you aren’t good friends.
Hope this was helpful! Feel free to respond or comment if anyone else has any further advice.
E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more questions!