When Kissing Goes Bad

Dear Ladybro,


Had a great date, lots of chemistry, slight hand touching arm around her shoulder, you know all the signs that things are going well. Walk her to the cab, go in for the kiss……and well, horrible kissing ensues, I mean horrible.  Now I consider myself a pretty good kisser, and she may have as well, but we definitely had no common ground in that moment.  I can’t stop thinking about it, and as much as i want to go out with this girl again, I do not know if it’s worth it.





Dear AlltongueandnolipsBRO,

Oh man.  I hate to say this, but that really sucks.  I really don’t think there’s a good way to sugar-coat it.  You can tell so much about the future of your relationship (or the potential of a relationship, rather) based on your kissing chemistry.  Some people have different kissing techniques, which is totally fine and great, but it’s all about if your kissing is compatible with your date’s kissing.  If you are truly incompatible with your lover’s kissing, then that may be a sign from above that you should get out while you’re ahead.

It’s a tough situation that you are in, because it sounds like you really enjoyed yourself on your date.  It’s so obnoxious when personality chemistry does not vibe with physical chemistry, or vice versa.  You can have the most amazing conversations with a person and think they’re attractive, but when you go for the kiss, it just fizzles.

On the bright side, I do not think every relationship with a bad first kiss is totally doomed.  People kiss differently, and people’s kissing can change over time too (hopefully hers can!).  I don’t want to go through a list of hypothetical situations or excuses, but I can’t help but wonder how experienced she is or when her last relationship was.  Maybe the last guy she was with “trained” her to kiss that way.  Or maybe she’s just super inexperienced and needs a handsome stud like you to show her the way!  If you think she’s worth spending more time with and getting to know, then there are NICE and SENSITIVE ways of communicating with her about it.  Based on your question, it seems like you are all about lip action and not as much tongue (good for you!).  So maybe if you decide to go out with her again and things get steamy, you can tell her that you think it’s sexy when she uses her lips more when she kisses.  Or tell her you want to ease into the kiss and put the breaks on the kiss if she starts molesting your mouth with her tongue.  However, you have to be willing to put the time into it, which at our age, seems annoying.

By the time you’re in your mid/late 20’s, you would hope that bad first kisses are things of the past, but sadly, I don’t think they are.  It’s all about finding the right kissing chemistry!  I honestly think it’s less about “technique” but more about how the kiss made you feel.  But this is also assuming that the person knows not to try to push their tongue down your throat.  So, I’m sorry homie, this really is a rough situation to be in. It’s totally your decision if you want to take her out for a second time and try the kissing again.  You never know, maybe it was a weird one-time thing?  If it were me, I may go out with them one more time if we had a lot of fun together on the first date, minus the slobbery kissing, and see what happens the second time.  If it happens again, you can tell her you’ve had fun getting to know her, but you just don’t feel that romantic chemistry.

Hope this was helpful!



And just for giggles:


(Looks like you may be Meryl in this situation!)

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